Healing Our Past During the Time of Isolation
There was a time I did not respect my body and heart, so I chose to do the opposite of what they wanted and purposefully damaged them. I did not let myself express the pain, hurt, loneliness, and vulnerability when they felt and did not allow them to be heard and healed. I numbed and muffled them by forcing myself to do the opposite of what they desperately were crying for. I did not know any better way to deal with my pain, and that was the best I could do at that time. Then, those cries were pushed into the darkness and forgotten for a long time. Even though the damage was created many years ago, the invisible scar still remains today and rotting inside. They manifest in multiple physical or psychological symptoms haunting me, urging my consciousness to listen to the signals they send.
During this time, many of us might be forced to face our own hidden truth of who we are, which did not have much chance to be expressed before. All the layers which managed to cover our shadows to function in everyday life seemed no longer successfully doing their job. Many became deeply shaken, grown survival-mode and experienced a constant feeling of being on edge with fear and uncertainty. Whatever the issues we have already had might have heightened and pronounced more than ever. We have lost access to many of the things we usually do to distract ourselves. Thus, we could no longer afford to be ignorant of our inner truth, so we needed to start a conversation with ourselves deep inside.
I am grateful that I was given this opportunity to face what I have forgotten in my inner truth, reflect my past and heal myself deep inside, which has not ended yet. Healing is not only about receiving therapies, going on retreat, detoxing, and practicing diligently spiritual works like yoga, tai chi or meditations. Sometimes, it seems that when the right time comes, life gives us a chance to heal. ☺️ Are you experiencing any emotions and thoughts which you have been unaware started to emerge? Any feelings that you left behind? Have you been feeling unsettling, even chaotic or in agony for some reason or no reason? As the new world begins and we start a new, is there anything that needs to be ended or grieved? Spend some time to have a conversation with yourself in your heart, mind and body, feel whatever comes up and be present with it even if it brings you pain. Staying with and being present with this pain is the only way out of it. 🙏